BANG BALLS
FREEDOM OF SPEECH NOTHING SHOULD BE IMPOSED
IDEAS NOT LEECHED ONLY CREATIVELY COMPOSED |
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Jasmine
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Tuesday, November 15, 2005
a tale of hearts shit. i just read a letter to me. and it struck me hard. VERY HARD. i need to think about everything AGAIN. BASICALLY the crux of it was *What about real love? One way to help to think to get the idea of what is true love would be to ask , what if one day, the feeling for this person is gone? Will you still love this person enough to continue to care for her? If you have no more feelings for her, will you still care enough to go to the extra mile to do things for her and most importantly, will you commit to her fully? Will your brain be powerful enough to continue to love her? If its yes to all these questions, its love.* okay. read it?! now tell me. its so difficult to say yes to any of them let alone all! so how? i agree with it. but. i just don't know, doesn't it mean i'm infatuated with the girls i thought i once loved. if the feeling were to be dead and gone. then you don't love. you just care. its the feeling that makes it the act of loving right? i don't know. i'm a bit confused. but all i know is that i've got to think properly. 'loving' and 'caring' for two people is NOT a solution. neither is it a thing that can happen. you choose one. or you don't choose at all. and i'm tempted to choose nothing. but. i think of you. and i see that the future can be possible. but now. nothing can be. you're not ready. and i'm not ready. you don't even like me. so talk what? meng kong! so. you are definately not someone that i can like now. simple as that. and we're definately better of as friends. friends who talk regularly, and care for one another. but not liking at all. yes. and i shall and will stick to this decision. now... YOU. wah. headache balls! i don't know how to read you. or understand you. but then again. i'm ALWAYS over analyzing things. and it causes things to become wonky. but as i told timothy *the mark of a successful human being is to not let his mind be read by anyone around him* so i guess you're SUPER successful lah. hahahahaha. and theres no point in JFI-ing things. like you said. they'll catch up sooner or later. so. JFI is kind of out now. i don't know if i really love you. but i'm sure i like you. you're tired - mentally, physically, emotionally. you need to rest. and please do. i really want to keep to my word of not liking you. and i'm doing my best, not trying. i just want to be friends. and i don't know if you're referring to me on your blog or what. coding. bloody hell. i need a de-crypter lah. all i know is that if you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem. and now i'm part of the problem. i'm trying to run away (note: T R Y I N G. thats why its F A I L I N G). and thus be nothing. but that isn't quite possible. so. i think i'll have to play by ear frist. see how things go. learn not to expect while giving care and comfort. i guess its fine and i'm fine with it. let me be the one to cut the strings yet give the comfort. okay. but you don't quite need the comfort i guess... you're strong enough. whatever. okay i'll think about things later. oh. another thing. i know you like him. so why am i even thinking that i should like you. JACK. AH. BANG BALLS LAH! i can't finish it yet. no ending. or rather theres no proper ending yet. yah. nights. |
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